This Is Why A Sleeping Baby Scares Me

March 4, 2014

Why I'm Scared Of Sleeping Babies

[Johnny Bravo]

A sleeping baby is not the most feared animal in the world. But to a new first time parent it can be.

My Sleeping Baby Story

I woke up this morning to the voices of Lori and my mom in the living room. I knew Bailey was in the bassinet next to the bed. It was just him and I in the room.

I could hear them in the other room talking. Their voices were soft enough were I couldn’t make out the words but loud enough I knew it was them.

What I didn’t hear was Bailey. This is not unusual though. When he’s feeding I don’t hear him. When he’s sleeping (like now) I don’t hear him unless he starts cooing or is starting to wake up.

I laid there in bed holding my breath trying to hear the slightest sound from him. I’m sure there’s a technical term for it but it was one of those moments where it’s mostly silent but your mind isn’t focused on anything. All of a sudden you hear a sound and your brain focuses all your energy on listening. It’s like the world goes silent.

I still couldn’t hear our sleeping baby…time to get up.

I went to his bassinet and stared at him for a moment. It was dark and I wasn’t wearing my glasses so it was hard for me to see his chest move from breathing. I touched his cheek…warm…good but not good enough.

I poked him a couple of times. He stirred, made his grumpy face…that will do.

What’s Your Sleeping Baby Story?

Deep down I knew there was nothing to worry about. Bailey’s health has been absolutely perfect so I have no reason to believe that will change anytime soon.

You’ve probably had a similar situation. Checking in unnecessarily often. Fearful of something that is unlikely but still uncontrollable. I know SIDS is a huge worry for every parent.

We had gone to the pediatrician’s for his first check up a couple of days ago. Some of those flyers added to my nightmares.

  • Best Baby Sleeping Positions To Avoid SIDS
  • Is Your Baby Sleeping Too Much?
  • Top 10 Baby Sleeping Tips To Avoid SIDS And Other Problems

Other problems?!?!

I try not to pick these kinds of brochures up. You should avoid them as well unless there is a real concern.

When we first thought Bailey might have TAR Syndrome we thought the worst. No parent should ever have to bury a child. And I know there are other issues that could arise if he had it. I just decided not to internet search them all. I try to avoid WebMD at all cost.

During the first few months when Lori was pregnant, an interesting thought crossed our minds a few times. If anything were to have happened to Bailey which was even barely unexplainable, we would have a very real culprit to blame. At the time, believe it or not, that was actually a comfort.

But now, which I will be thankful for as long as I live, that comfort is gone. And I can’t complain that a beautiful healthy sleeping baby has replaced it.

I know these thoughts are extremely normal and common but that doesn’t help me in moments like the above. I know these fears will forever be a part of our lives. Him sleeping, driving, leaving for college. All events that put fear in a parents hearts. And this all started because of one sleeping baby…what the hell.

It’s our job to protect them but there are simply some things we can’t protect them from. I can’t watch Bailey every second of every day. I can’t check his breathing and his pulse all the time.

These are the things that keep me and many new parents awake at night. So if you are like me; poke away. 

~ Johnny Bravo

Lori Scared Of Our Sleeping BabyJohnny Scared Of A Sleeping Baby

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